When I first signed on as a LOST fan it was exciting; it implemented cultural references and literary techniques that pulled me in and made me fall in love. However, as our relationship has progressed, it has done nothing but disappoint.
I thought that we might grow together, I would learn more about the secrets that it held and where our future would lead. What is the island? Why were they there? And most importantly, how did the polar bear get in the middle of a jungle? I was always hoping that it would let me in; answer some of my questions rather than leave me alone and unsatisfied.
I was wrong. It ignored my needs. For 5 years I have been here, waiting. Since season 3 I have been hoping things would change, that I would feel more of a connection. I hoped that I would get some answers and it would let me into it's mind. I kept telling myself it had promise. It just wasn't delivering.
I keep threatening to leave. After every bad episode I have told myself, "This is it. I'm leaving. I can't wait around anymore. There are better things I can do with my life." But each week, I'm back on my couch hoping answers will come. Once again, I am dragged around like J.J Abrams little play thing.
But this is it. The end of the road. I see now that I am stupid for sticking around. It hasn't been good to me. Will happiness come in the final season. Will I see the light and will it all pay off?
Doubtful.
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